Delivery Guy

From DYOS Wiki
Delivery Guy
First appearance DRAW Your Own Story 10
Created by Thorvald of Lym
Species Human
Gender Male
Date of birth Unspecified
Age Youngish
Occupation Courier
Nationality Unspecified

The Delivery Guy is a wholesale courier working for an as-yet unidentified supplier. Originally featured in a one-off joke, Thorvald liked him so much that he has become a recurring character.

Early life

Delivery Guy was born approximately 12 years BFW (Before Flame Wars) to the Earl of Sandwich and the Grand Duchess of West Dakota. From an early age he exhibited an affinity for inventories and shipping, subjecting local couriers to increasingly stringent criteria for delivery. He held part-time jobs as a paperboy and catalogue distributor, in which he became widely regarded for his punctuality. In one famous incident, he challenged the local Boy Scout troop to an apple-selling contest; his familiarity with roadways and traffic conditions facilitated a run all the way into outlying rural areas, and as a result, tripled his sales. It was obvious to all where his career was headed.


Delivery Guy got his first job in Streets of SimCity as part of Zippy Courier Service. The competitive environment honed his delivery skills, and established his reputation as the "most reliable courier this side of the Braun Llama Dome". He also displayed a knack for survival that sped him through the pecking order, eventually attaining the enviable title of "Courier-in-Chief". Throughout his term with Zippy, he only ever drove two vans, one of which was his delivery.

His l33t driving skillz attracted military attention, and he was offered a contract in ordnance with the French army into the mid-Nineties. Afterward, he worked freelance for different companies spanning multiple countries, until settling back down with his current employer.


In DRAW Your Own Story 10, Stylesrj placed an order for "a truckload of foxy ladies". This resulted in a delivery of 50 vixens to the thread, and... actually, read for yourself.

Nobody ultimately signed for the delivery, and the Delivery Guy found himself stuck with a package he could not unload. He gradually developed Stockholm syndrome, and the foxes have become his travelling companions.

And so began Thorvald's liberal references to foxes throughout the thread.