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Stylesrj depicted in Fallout 3
|First appearance||DRAW Your Own Story 5|
|No. appearances||Too many|
|Date of birth||Unknown|
Rivals that of Colonel Sanders.
Perhaps currently the single most infamous DYOSer, Stylesrj Dragonhelper (or just Stylesrj) gained attention for a rapid decline in posting quality and surge in powergaming midway through DYOS 5. As artist, he is considered to have improved greatly from DYOS 10 and onwards. Who and what he leads varies from thread to thread, and even post to post, as interest in new computer games waxes and wanes. Currently though, Fallout 3 takes the stage for most of his pictures, with some Neverwinter Nights 2 and Garry's Mod elements mixed in.
His characters, storylines and plots have a noticeable military edge, despite not having any military training or experience.
The next sections deal with the character, not the user
- 1 Early History
- 2 X-COM
- 3 Early DYOS history
- 4 Monkey Statue Race
- 5 Milky Way Milk
- 6 Hunt for Mod's Fridge
- 7 Avatar Wars
- 8 Plans Within Plans
- 9 HAAAX! Conflict
- 10 Personality
- 11 Relationships
- 12 Allergies
- 13 Equipment
- 14 Skills & Special Abilities
- 15 Critical interpretation
- 16 See also
- 17 References
Stylesrj the Painter
During this time, he was good friends with his future wife, Rhiza Kalanin, and was dating Alexis Alexander. One day, Stylesrj acquired a job as a painter to help fund his nanite projects, instead of just–you know, selling the projects and making millions. Shortly afterwards, with the help of both Rhiza and Alexis, he completed what they all called a Phase Disassembly Array (PDA).
However, when presenting the project at the science fair, CERN copied the device and built their own, not giving the original designers any credit. This made Stylesrj angry.
With the help of his high school friends, he delivered CERN a crippling blow by painting their building with a specialised paint formula.
When the guard, annoyed by the graffiti on the wall went to light up a cigarette, there was a big explosion, destroying the building and the only PDA prototype.
Since then, Stylesrj kept his nanotechnology within his own control, to prevent unfair leakage to others.
Doot do dootdo dodo dodo...—Stylesrj humming the main theme
At some point between Highschool and DYOS V, Stylesrj had joined the Extraterrestrial Combat organisation. This may be where he learned his combat skills and leadership abilities.
He also met Rosalina Sunburst at this time who helped show him how the organisation worked.
While on the Final Mission in the Cydonia Region on Mars to end the alien menace over Earth once and for all, Stylesrj lost his entire squad when he fell under their mind control and shot everyone. He proceeded to go through the alien base alone and wipe out the alien mastermind by himself, saving humanity, but making him a disgrace to X-COM as it was highly unlikely he could have wiped out the entire squad while under alien influence. The board of directors assumed Stylesrj wiped out the squad on his own free will so they wouldn't get in the way while he went alone to destroy the alien menace and take all the credit.
However Stylesrj had altered the records so they he would be seen that way rather than reveal the truth on what really happened on Cydonia, which Rosalina played a role in. The thoughts still plague him throughout.
Early DYOS history
Monkey Statue Race
I can't handle being wrong! You always win the argument! I need some way to beat you!— Stylesrj Dragonhelper
Stylesrj wanted the Monkey Statue of Spamuzel so he could win the argument, while Stylesjl wanted it even though he could win the argument easily without it, unable to resist the opportunity for overkill.
After several comics of going back and forth between planets and performing various tasks along the way, the Monkey Statue was found and recovered by Coruscant, making it a race to break into the facility to obtain the statue.
Stylesrj at one point had total control of France.
Stylesrj and Stylesjl declared peace and shortly gave up on the argument. They never obtained the statue whatsoever.
Milky Way Milk
Stylesrj had died many times throughout this part of the saga, only to come back from the dead as various people, including a four-legged battlemech. He also had control of various empires, including Israel, the Secret Iranian Rebels and the Pacifist Mayans.
Once the Milk was found, it turned out that Milky Way Milk was none other than Chocolate Ice Cream.
Hunt for Mod's Fridge
What the heck is that thing!? Engineer! Slow the train down!— Stylesrj Dragonhelper
One day, Stylesrj is travelling on a train.
DYOS 9 is over and there is a newfound peace in the land. Typically though, it doesn't last ver... OH MY GOD! INCOMING HEAT RAY!
There was only two survivors of the train wreck (But General Kwai ran off).... Stylesrj was surrounded by his former avatars, and they were really angry over being stuck in an old folder. They wanted to do the same to Stylesrj. Lead by SEAL SEAL, they were to capture Stylesrj and put him in an old save file to languish and rot.
Gotta Catch 'em All!
Stylesrj's Capturing Staff... It's pink! It does not imply anything—Displayed on every page involving Stylesrj's avatar roundup.
After several battles, Stylesrj found a weapon he could use against his former avatars- an Avatar Capturing Staff that was coloured a lovely shade of pink. It could be used to capture avatars, to which it was used several times. The avatars were then stored in a hidden facility in orbit over CivFanatics.
Taking a Civilization IV Omega Battleship, Stylesrj set off to Apolyton to seek the Keeper of Spam, with assistance from Taillesskangaru and Gravebringer Jal and her crack team of Gravebringers and bodytanks. He also later on met up with 350tb and Cosmo (but no Wanda).
However, after battling pirates IN SPACE (not to be confused with the Space pirates) he found a new threat from the Avatar Army. One in particular was Battlecruiser SEAL. He attempted to attack the Battleship and was summarily trounced before he could fire a single shot. However, when he tried to capture the SEAL, the staff wouldn't allow it- Battlecruiser SEAL wasn't created by Stylesrj, so therefore he couldn't be captured by Stylesrj himself. Just then though, Stylesrj explained to the others about a device, the Heck Outta Here which could capture any avatar, regardless of who owned it.
Coincidentally, there was a guy at Apolyton who knew where such a device was. Unfortunately the Forums/Planet was destroyed by Stylesrj's former avatars and that they moved on to find the Heck Outta Here.
Sifting through the ruins of an asteroid, Stylesrj found one of his former avatars, Grassland SEAL who had been freed of the Avatar Supreme Commander's control by the Keeper of Spam. Before he could reveal anything important, Snakes on a SEAL shot him, leaving him to wheeze out a request to rescue Choxorn in Antarctica before it was too late.
Both avatars were captured and returned to the old save file.
Return to Earth
Post-Timeless Space Adventures
The less we know about those adventures, the better it is. These events deal with a sudden change in both artwork and image manipulation.
Well, actually Stylesrj got Supreme Commander and wanted to test it out...
It was destroyed with ease, but opened up a can of worms, which led to a court case. Stylesrj then asked Dostya to download a Legal Loyalty Program and become his lawyer.
However, after getting his base repossessed and his Plan B sold for 50 cents, Dostya was apparently blown up in a battle in Russia, meaning Stylesrj had to use Brackman as his lawyer, which was not a good choice...
While he was sent off to America to stall for time, Stylesrj set off to North Korea alone to hire Kim Jong Il as his lawyer, only to be captured by him and Stylesjl's forces.
He was later rescued by Dostya who had survived her ordeal and blew up a Combine Citadel by accident.
They arrived at the courtroom shortly after a pitstop in Japan. Brackman was still filibustering the courtroom when Stylesrj single-handedly won the case by representing himself as his own lawyer, not trusting Dostya's programming after all.
It all seemed to go well as they stepped out of the courtroom victorious, when his avatars appeared above in Starcraft II ships.
The outcome of that conflict is unknown as the next comic shows him back at his base, contemplating why they have a Quantum Artificial Intelligence, which summarily disappears.
DYOS & Dragons
Gambling with Hell
Death before dishonour
Hunt for the Gem
With Georgie out of the picture, captured by the Australian Court of Law, it was time to make my move...— Stylesrj Dragonhelper
Arriving shortly on Arrakis after Georgie Kalanin was captured by the Law Council of Australia, Stylesrj attempted to contribute to the plot, by bursting into the Gem Chamber with several robot assistants and a suit of Power Armour.
After the Gem plot was over, he retired to Rivet City, which he converted into a spaceship and set off into space, and was not heard of again for quite a while.
Plans Within Plans
I'm tired of running a casino! They get nuked, invaded and heavily taxed and I'm just sick of it!—Stylesrj Dragonhelper
Upon arriving over Earth though, he ignored all directions and immediately went to defend the Coruscant National History Museum, believing The Gem to be in there.
It has been a long time... I can feel it has been. But a man is never at rest. Especially not a man like myself.— Stylesrj Dragonhelper
At the start of DYOS XI, Stylesrj was out on patrol as a mercenary for hire, still in his re-purposed aircraft carrier of Rivet City.
While drinking at the tavern called the "Muddy Rudder" however, the carrier suffered a critical system failure and exploded, sending debris raining down onto a nearby planet.
Through unknown means, Stylesrj ended up in Hackspace to stop the Hacker's evil plans, under the guidance of the Great Hacker Pul Wat Aa. By destroying HAAAX! from Pathspace, he was saving Hyperspace from total destruction, allowing people to send their ships across to stop hacking attacks in normal space.
However, dubious news of Stylesrj's favourite
waste of time roleplaying website, Galava was back in operation reached him and he abandoned his cause completely to fall for the obvious delusions and paper-thin disguises. This allowed the Great Hacker to send in massive amounts of forces directly at CivFanatics to wipe it out once and for all.
The plan would have succeeded if Stylesrj didn't return, dressed as a Space Marine and with an army of such.
How he saw through the delusion and got out of Hackspace though, the only explanation provided was that he had a bad taco, which caused several users to bang their heads against walls in frustration, and for the Brother Hackvah to explode at the ridiculousness of the excuse (or the "Yo mumma" joke after citing how lame the excuse was).
I have a wife!?— Stylesrj Dragonhelper
He immediately set out, armed only with a minigun and his old Powered Armour suit. He encountered several Deathclaws along the way and dealt with them.
Seeing the contact at the diner, he assumed she was an Enclave officer, judging by the hat she wore.
Battle for the SGC
Journey to Nar Kreeta
The End of Laes
Operation Toppling Goddesses
An Expanded Universe production that never panned out too well.
Talons of Steel
Bad Dudes: Cutting The Red Tape
Stylesrj returned to Adonis IV to seek help, only to have the red tape stand in his way. He also got fired from his own company for incompetence.
Rhiza was also kidnapped by ninjas and Tama was a bad enough dude...ette to rescue her.
The True Cause
When leaving Adonis IV, it was decided that the party would split up as the Observatory was having engine problems. Stylesrj, Rhiza and Tama all took a space-converted car to Earth while Marth and Rosalina fixed the issues. While in transit, Stylesrj is attacked by his old nemesis, the Ethereal Empire and he cripples their leadership and new invasion plans with the help of his allies and acquires a new spaceship to boot.
Hurry up with that plot
While onboard their new ship, both Martha Shepard and Qara Avethokastar are coincidentally found in the ship's cryochamber. Stylesrj is immediately trusting towards them. How this plays out is still a work in progress for now.
Stylesrj's personality is highly random. This is mostly based off the poster, who is also the same way, a somewhat "Child at Heart".
This has led to conflicts with others, as he is highly unpredictable in personality. At one point he can be a serious tactician, and at another he can be an immature, gung-ho space cowboy prone to shooting first and asking questions later.
I'm the Doctor of Love, babey!— Stylesrj Dragonhelper to Rhiza
Rhiza Kalanin - Married. How this came to be is unknown by many, but they seem to have quite a stable relationship, even after being separated for several DYOS threads.
Stylesjl - Brother. Sometimes they get along, other times they're at each other's throats. One thing for certain is that they'll work together in times of trouble, and if one brother is harmed, the other will show some concern or help out.
Georgie Kalanin - Friends. Sometimes Georgie will help out in matters of negotiation or diplomacy, but this has been branched out to Rosalina now while Georgie stays with Stylesjl's plot.
Rosalina - Friends. Rosalina was Stylesrj's friend back in his X-COM days and has supported him intermittently throughout the years since his departure. She helped him found the Space Mercenaries and also represents him in legal affairs, all for the price of Star Bits (a type of food and currency no space traveller finds a use for)
CivGeneral - Allies of Opportunity. While there has been a lot of turbulence between Stylesrj and CivGeneral, this has subsided. While not exactly friends, they can be considered allies, working together if needed in the plot. It's been hinted that "if things were different" they would have had time to become friends.
Stylesrj has allergies towards Chocolate Ice Cream. A single taste can make his head swell several times its normal size instantly. Stylesjl considers this allergy medically impossible and used it as an excuse to start the Great Ice Cream Debacle.
This allergy does not apply to anything else. Regular chocolate is fine, chocolate yoghurt, chocolate topping (both runny and that instant freeze stuff), its just when the chocolate is ice cream the allergy takes effect.
Let's just say I pack everything... like Batman— Stylesrj Dragonhelper
Stylesrj wears a variety of different outfits, depending on what kind of mission he is on and what the mood is. For example, he may be seen wearing a black business suit when on diplomatic missions or walking around the headquarters. Sometimes, he might decide to wear a brown uniform that looks remarkably similar to an Enclave Officer's uniform. 
On missions, Stylesrj normally wears a brown longcoat. The coat provides protection from the elements and allows flexibility, while at the same time making him look more badass
Stylesrj used to wear Power Armour to help augment his strength, speed and endurance when on a mission.
This has been dropped in favour of just having the longcoat.
His current armour, as seen on DYOS XI is a suit of Space Marine Power armour in the design of the Blood Ravens.
This suit is designed with many protective layers of armour, yet still allows him to be as mobile as Samus in her Zero Suit .
Because Stylesrj likes the sound of many bullets and big explosions, his main arsenal consists of weapons such as miniguns, rocket launchers and flamethrowers.
He always carries several different types of swords, including a Katana
Also in his pockets/inventory is a large piece of paper, inscribed with various runes. This allows him to cast Calamities, as mentioned in the Special Abilities section, although this has not seen much use so far in later DYOSes.
Skills & Special Abilities
To summarise what exactly he's good at, Stylesrj is good at brute force and survivability and his equipment reflects these traits.
While not highly educated, he's got a great mind for construction and creativity
Stylesrj is skilled in a variety of heavy weapons. Many of the weapons he uses, he can use effectively. Rocket launchers, flamethrowers, miniguns... if it can cause widespread destruction, he can wield it and wield it effectively.
Rumours of him using an A-10's main weapon as his personal minigun are untrue- the thing needs to be mounted before he can use it properly.
Consequently, his skills in using small arms, like pistols and assault rifles are quite lacklustre... and energy weapons have a tendency to malfunction or hit the wrong target instead (like allies) in his hands.
While he can both use close range and long range heavy weapons, there is one thing in particular he is skilled at using, and it's a sword. And as Star Wars tells us, swords are a delicate weapon, not clumsy and random like a blaster or flamethrower.
While he hasn't got Jedi reflexes or a lightsaber for that matter, he can cut through powered armoured soldiers with nothing more than a lawnmower blade on fire. This may be attributed to the fact that the blade is Nanohardened steel that is tapered to a monomolecular edge...
Whether or not the weapons can be used against lightsabers is debatable. But it would be awesome to see.
When in power armour, any melee blow can be made more deadly. This is what Stylesrj primarily relies on.
If forced to fight unarmed and he hasn't got access to his power armour, he mostly relies on the combat training from Captain Falcon to help him through the battle. There would be many shouts of various unarmed moves, all named after a bird which he uses to a great extent. Whether or not the shouts actually do anything to help, his unarmed combat skills are poor, relying on brute strength, not skill to win.
No one knows how or where he got the training to use Powered armour but this may be a key factor into how he can use heavy weapons effectively.
Stylesrj is what most would consider a "normal" person, having no genetic modifications or altered DNA.
However, he has some special abilities borne of skill rather than mutation.
Despite having no actual education in such, Stylesrj has a knack for using nanotechnology in many of his applications. This may explain why some of his special abilities are plausible or how his weapons are more deadlier in his hands.
Throughout the various DYOS comics, Stylesrj has had the ability to quickly convert any vehicle into a space vessel, even if he lacks the proper materials for such an effort.
Notable examples of conversions include, but are not limited to:
- WWI prop planes
- Imperial Age Ships of the Line
Because he uses the Prophet Durer/Heuptmann Durer/Spy model in Empire Earth, he has the ability to cast Calamities from a large piece of paper he pulls out at times. This is due to his understanding of the runes written. This ability however isn't used too often though, mostly because magic is forbidden by the DYOS Consul so a plausible workaround has to be made. For example:
- During his short time as a wizard in DYOS X, Stylesrj claimed his powers were drawn off "The Force" much like the Jedi did, due to the No Magic rule
- Clarke's Third Law
Calamities he can cast are:
- Massive Fireballs
- Solar Storms (Designed to deal with spaceships and aircraft)
Stylesrj has a high resistance to mind control and psionic attacks (Out of a scale of 100, he ranks as a 90). This potential power (that is said to be found in every Human being) can also be harnessed with an X-COM Psi-Amp. His psionic abilities however are limited to reading, influencing or dominating minds weaker than his own.
|The neutrality of this article is disputed. The article deals with a controversial subject, and therefore is susceptible to author's bias. Proceed with caution.|
Go back two years, maybe even one, and Stylesrj would have looked like the poster child of a failed-state contributor: a small, naïve little boy, desperately clinging to mediocrity as he dredged up any one of Internet "culture's" innumerable rotting carcasses of memes past; trapped in a fantasy world where awesome = larger explosions, planets can be written off as collateral damage, and character development is something to tie over the fangirls while waiting for the next fascist exposé of homoeroticism. And yet, history may regard Stylesrj as DYOS's greatest success story. As DYOS XI gained momentum and some individuals mentored him on successful cartooning, Stylesrj realized a paradigm shift in his comics. He learned how to tell a story. Stock characters who would have been killed without a second thought after their usefulness was exhausted were still killed off, but given motives and personalities that made them "human" enough for the audience to empathize. Where Stylesrj would once say he couldn't be bothered to crop an image of a boot, he fretted whether his photoshopping would be obvious to onlookers. Where before the problem was solved through sheer force, now tactical precision and multifaceted strategy prevail. As the DYOS saga has matured, so has Stylesrj developed as a writer. After years of combating one-dimensional villains, he has at last crafted in Commander Laes an opponent of depth and complexity, not so easily dismissed as a cartoon as he was only one story ago. The Sajuuk, which in previous eras would have existed solely to gain a one-up on CivGeneral, in Stylesrj's new age is a symbol of the prejudice he suffered, the simplistic ideology of "bigger-gun-wins", the culmination of everything that marred the Post-DYOS 5 Era. Overcoming the Sajuuk –overcoming Laes– will mark Stylesrj's triumph over the Old Philosophy and allow him to finally take his seat amongst the storytellers of legend.
- Editor's note: Five days after this was written, Laes was killed and the Sajuuk destroyed. Suck that, Thorvald.
- Not to be confused with Rivet City
- This is an understatement
- This is a big change from wearing only two different suits of armour or one outfit. This may be due to Rhiza's influence
- As Rhiza jokingly tells him
- CivGeneral wanted more Katana users.
- Plus he's good at winging it at the last minute
- Which apparently doesn't apply to the Force