Wilhuff Tarkin

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"A planet is a small price to pay."
Stylesrj –I mean, Tarkin– on economy of scale
Wilhuff Tarkin
Tarkin.jpg
Nickname(s) Slick Willy
Allegiance Republic of Coruscant
Service/branch Space Navy
Rank Grand Moff

Wilhuff Tarkin (pronounced will huff kittens) was the first Grand Moff and commander of the Death Star. Unlike most other Imperial officers, Tarkin was incredibly competent and ruthlessly efficient, and so highly respected that even Darth Vader deferred to him. Tarkin was a three-time recipient of the Stalin-Hitler Tyranny Prize.

Bioplagie

Tarkin's early years were spent living in gubernatorial luxury on the planet Eriadu. Tarkin married Thalassa Motti, who like most upper crust madames held lots of money and prestige. Money couldn't buy him love, however, and he became sweet on Natasi Daala instead, proving nepotism was not a quality below senior officers by promoting her to Admiral. This led to quiet complaints that Daala was sleeping her way through the chain of command (thus proving women were equally fit to be bureaucrats). Tarkin quelled allegations of impotence by firing his laser at the planet Alderaan. The Rebel Alliance was so impressed by this display of raw Tarkin power that they immediately attacked the Death Star in the hopes that he would visit their secret base on Yavin.

File:Tarkin-oldskool.jpg
Tarkin incognito while hunting for Rebel spies

Tarkin Doctrine

Tarkin is credited with the Tarkin Doctrine, which asserted the concept of projecting fear to exert control without actually using force. The Tarkin Doctrine was proven a failure after the Bush Administration attempted a global application, fomenting increased terrorist activity. It was also sort of a failure in that instead of wetting themselves with fear, the Rebels blew up the Death Star... but Palpatine likes to think that was an isolated incident.

DYOS

Tarkin made frequent appearances as a leading Coruscanti general officer in DRAW Your Own Story 5, assumedly the chief military strategist. He became less frequent a face as CivGeneral assumed a more direct role in the nation's affairs.

The frontier city of Tarkingrad was named in honour of the Tarkin family.

See also